Taking a minute to say thank you

Today I miss Michael. I miss Michael everyday, that goes without having to be said. But today I miss him a lot. My heart just aches. It feels like a dagger in my chest. I go through the motions of the day but they are just motions. I feel like I make it through one day only to have to face another day knowing he is not here. I can't think about the future, or I get depressed knowing he will never be in it. I have to literally take one day at a time and get through that day. That is all I can do right now.

So I thought I would take a minute to say "thank you" to some of the amazing people who have reached out and been so supportive of me. I'm trying to focus on the positives to ignore the pain my heart feels. I truly have been amazed at how many visits, calls, texts, messages, cards, prayers, gifts, and anything in between, that I have received. All I did was love a man the way I was supposed to. That is what you are supposed to do when you get married. You take a vow to love that person until death do you part. Never expecting the "death do you part" clause to happen until you are old and have lived a full lifetime of loving each other. Unfortunately, the "death do you part" happened much sooner than anyone would have wanted.

Flowers, plants, and arrangements have been so beautiful. These below are from my sister. She knows I love sunflowers. It would take me an hour to list all the things people have done for me, so I'm only highlighting a few.

I didn't even take pictures of all the flowers I have received. These were just some initially.  They continue to come and I am so appreciative that people have taken the time to do these things for me.

 Today, Kelly and Brad Parker, and their kids,  Alexis, Kiersten, Garrett and Landon came to visit. The kids got to run around at the farm, and go to the creek and watch the dogs swim. Garrett and Landon asked about Nic and Nate. They said they missed seeing them and playing with them. I told them I did too. We all agreed we hope to get to see them soon and maybe they could all play together. They were sweet enough to bring this gift. You place a candle on the back and it lights up displaying the poem.

I love this festive wreath that Megan Pressley brought me. Her sister Erin Byrd made it and sent it from their family. It is so festive and bright and it puts a smile on your face just because it is so cheerful.

This card from Hunter Freeman, has to be one of the most touching, heartwarming things I have received. Thank you Hunter, and Brooke, for taking the time to send this to me. It means so much to me that even a child has me on his mind.

My sweet, sweet friends bought me this necklace. I love it. Of course it means the world that my friends are so supportive during this time.

Cupcakes from Mrs. Halkowitz. I LOVE Sweets. Even though I haven't been eating much since the accident, I always can eat something sweet. Michael always picked on me and said I had the biggest sweet tooth of anyone he had ever seen. So many people have been so generous sending food, complete meals, sweets, cookies, cakes, drinks, and anything in between. Almost every day for the past two weeks someone has made supper or brought supper for my family. I am overwhelmed at the amount of love I have received these past few weeks.

Now this is most certainly one of the sincere and touching gifts I have received. This is from Teresa Canipe. This is my brother in law's aunt whom I may have met once. This is a prayer shawl that she crocheted. Her card made me cry as soon as I opened it.

She wrote: ..."God laid it on my heart to crochet this shawl for you. It is something I have never done before, but I have heard of the prayer shawl ministry. The color is close to the color of your bridesmaid dress. The pattern is 1 line of a single stitch, surrounded by 3 rows of a double stitch. This single stitch is you. The double stitch represents the trinity (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) and it surrounds the single stitch. You are covered in prayers and blessing and this shawl is dedicated to you..."

I have been placed this on my headboard and sleep with it there, as hopes to get more peaceful sleep. I am truly humbled by the time and effort Teresa spent on making this for me. This gift was one of the most special things I have ever received in my life. Thank you Teresa.

My cousin Dana gave me this bracelet the day after Michael died. It brought me much comfort over the past few weeks. And yes, I still wearing my wedding rings. I probably will wear them for a long time. I am still married in eyes. I still have a husband and he is still with me...just not physically.

 

My acupuncturist, Delores Moore, made this bracelet for me. I have only been going to her for about 2 months, but she was inspired to make this for me and the stones are to symbolize "peace".  If anyone ever has thought about trying acupuncture, I highly recommend it.

 

While, I just highlighted a few of the things people have done for me, I appreciate every single thing no matter how big or how small. My family and friends have supported me starting from the night of the accident by coming to the hospital, to visiting the next day, to calling me everyday and checking on me. I truly could not ask for better friends. I love each and every one of you and could not get through this time in my life it is wasn't for you and my family.

THANK YOU

 

My hope in writing this post was to distract my heart from the pain and focus on the tremendous amount of love that I have received. I do feel blessed, but my heart still hurts. It was just too much for me to write about Michael the past few days. Some days I can easily talk about him with no tears, and other days I can't mention his name without the tears falling down. And the past two days have been harder to talk about him without crying. Another day is down, and I pray tomorrow I am stronger.

Thank you to everyone for all of your support!!!